I want Anne Lamott to be my best friend

She's the best. Best writer. Best funny person. Best life-learner. Get off this interweb and go read one of her books.

A couple of lines from Traveling Mercies: 
[more to come!]

"The babies rolling around in the sand looked like breaded cuts of veal."

"The thoughts I was thinking were so bad that it would have made Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish."